I am fortunate to be connected with the full array of ways to approach boat life, and am moved and humbled by the whole wonderful lot. I particularly admire those doing versions of family life afloat far more ambitiously than I am. My two kiddos keep my dad-pride meter in the red, but compared to some I know, they’re hardly being raised as boat kids… yet.

It’s with that context that I share this: I brought our three-year-old, Rowan, sailing for the first time in the last month. She’s been out on boats a number of times, but part of me is sheepish to admit that she hasn’t already done what I know some other kids have at her age. Most of me, though, is positively bursting with joy and gratitude and awe (and relief) to have seen how she thrived. She did so great! (And yes, that’s her on the cover.)

I’m so thankful to my longtime sailing pal, Dave, who welcomed Rowan and me aboard his J/109 Spyhop, and to the half-dozen other sailing friends who accommodated Rowan’s every desire on the boat while simultaneously supplementing my efforts to keep her safe with their own attentive eyes and helping hands. It blew in the teens and the late-September sun kept it pleasantly warm. We flew the spinnaker. Rowan got to drive the boat each time she asked, she never showed any fear, and she was entirely engaged with her surroundings. I am beyond proud.

I could fill volumes gushing about how it all made me feel—it was a really big dad day. But the better question is: “How did she feel?” She’s brilliant, but not a very compelling interview just yet. Rowan, did you like sailing? “Yeah.” What did you like about it? “I liked the sailing.” Do you want to go sailing with Dad again? “Yeah.” I’ll take it.

Short of her telling us how she felt, here are a few observations and hypotheses.

  • Rowan’s first interest was the interior of the boat. She quickly turned it into her playhouse, even as it tipped 20-degrees sideways in a puff—sea bags tumbling all over the place were just new obstacles to climb on and over.
  • On deck, she did want to steer… frequently. Luckily, our sail had no stakes other than a happy day on the water among friends, so she probably drove six or eight times. Holding a course wasn’t in her skillset yet, but I think her access to the wheel helped her feel like she could do whatever she liked on the boat that was safe for her to do.
  • Speaking of safe, I do think she felt safe and, importantly, unafraid. Her over-cautious dad wasn’t at ease 100% of the time, but I think the whole crew was a helpful blend of very relaxed about the actual use of the boat in those conditions and generally Rowan-oriented enough that I believe she felt comfortable at all times.
  • Rowan was fascinated by the water. Whether sitting legs out like a few of our fellow crew or laying belly-down on the deck to hang her head over the side and watching the water go by, frothing waves and wakes were constantly captivating entertainment.
  • At the risk of cringey self-congratulations, the best thing I did for her that day was choose a sailing situation with people I trust and in which I had zero sailing responsibility. I was there for her and nothing else. And I think and hope that made her feel like she and I were truly sharing the experience together.

I consider the success of this first sail more good luck than good strategy. Of course, I’ve shared this story with many people, and one of them—my friend and renowned sailing coach, Ron Rosenberg—heard my description and offered his advice for sailing parents: “For young kids, there’s only one rule: no bad experiences.” I’m confident Rowan and I would both agree: mission accomplished on the maiden voyage. Here’s hoping we keep that trend going!

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