We all know that love can be complicated — add boats and sailboat racing to the mix and the complexities can seem daunting. Of course, it can give us something truly special!
Racing with the person you love can be challenging for a variety of reasons; enough so that this time last year, I had a firm resolution that I would never again date another sailor. But it turns out that with a community and activity that’s as involved as sailing, non-sailors just don’t seem to get it and you’re stuck with the saltier side of the population.
Having someone else to share this world with can be both frustrating and immensely rewarding. Ultimately, the joys outweigh the challenges, the boat work that devolves into a chorus of four-letter words, and the “discussions” and “comments” about each other on-ship. So, this Valentine’s Day I asked some of the experts how they make it work. For those of you who have broken this cycle and found love on land, congratulations — for the rest of us, here are some words of wisdom from other sailor couples. Happy Valentine’s Day and, good luck refining those docking skills and embracing the realization that you’ll both spend more on this sport than you ever will on each other.
Ken Machtley and Stephanie Arnold
What boat(s) do you race together?
Dash (J/99), Aha! (J/70), and Treachery (Martin 242)
What do you think your partner’s greatest strength is as a sailor?
Stephanie’s greatest strength as a sailor is her enthusiasm for the sport. She’s smart, driven and always up for the next adventure.
What is your best piece of advice for sailing or racing with your significant other?
My advice for sailing/racing with your significant other is to embrace and respect partnership. As a primarily double-handed race team, we don’t have “pink” or “blue” jobs, but instead work together to become as self-sufficient as possible, learning from each other’s strengths.
Cameron Schuh and Audrey Jacobs
What boat(s) you race together: We don’t race together. Our competitive styles don’t mesh well. But we love sailing against each other on different boats
What do you think your partner’s greatest strength is as a sailor?
Audrey is driven to improve her skills and loves to practice even during the cold parts of the year. She is extremely knowledgeable and I learn lots from her and our debriefs off the water.
What is your best piece of advice for sailing or racing with your significant other?
Always listen to your partner and be compassionate. Build each other up, don’t break each other down.
Trevor DiMarco and Dustin Johnson
What boat(s) you race together:
Zephyros (First 30) and Timeline (Viper)
What do you think your partner’s greatest strength is as a sailor?
He’s a fantastic teacher and tactician.
What is your best piece of advice for sailing or racing with your significant other?
Endeavor to speak to each other with kindness — even if speaking with brevity when racing.
Mac and Wendy Madenwald
What boat(s) you race together:
We race and cruise together on PANGAEA a Baltic 39 that Mac purchased new in 1978. Sailing PANGAEA is a passion we share. The boat has raised two children and is now raising three grandkids.
What do you think your partner’s greatest strength is as a sailor?
According to Wendy, Mac’s greatest strengths as a sailor are his ability to keep calm, have fun and assemble a great group of people around him as crew. He has extensive experience both racing and cruising and combines this with a sense of adventure.
According to Mac, Wendy’s greatest strength is her uncanny boat savvy. She can work any crew position on the boat and teach all positions to others.
What is your best piece of advice for sailing or racing with your significant other?
Our best advice is to make sailing fun, so it is not stressful, and to share the experience with compatible people.
Chris and Justin Wolfe
What boat(s) you race together:
Raku (J/111), Mossy (J/70), Red Ruby (SunFast 3300)
What do you think your partner’s greatest strength is as a sailor?
Justin pays attention to details and shares my competitive spirit. He’s the best partner I could imagine — fun to prepare with, train with, and race with!
What is your best piece of advice for sailing or racing with your significant other?
1) Don’t take things personally, 2) When there is feedback to share (and there will be!), own it — say “I feel” or “I think”, NOT “you are” or “you should…”
Stephanie Campbell and John Stocklass
What boat(s) you race together:
We mostly race together on the Santa Cruz 27 Rumpus, and a bit on his Etchells Sea Ya.
What do you think your partner’s greatest strength is as a sailor?
John’s greatest strength as a sailor is joyful willingness to help out and give ‘er a go. He says “yes!” and in fact he takes it a step further and says “of course!”
What is your best piece of advice for sailing or racing with your significant other?
I guess my advice is to know and respect each other’s strengths and weakness and help. Yes is always the best answer, other than “of course!”
Jimmy Roser and Robin Hirsch
What boat(s) you race together:
Charisma (S&S 57), Icon (65-foot carbon racer/cruiser), Chinook (Cal-39), Ad Lib (J/70)
What do you think your partner’s greatest strength is as a sailor?
Absolute confidence in each other.
What is your best piece of advice for sailing or racing with your significant other?
Leave any work/home baggage at the dock and have fun sailing!
Julia Soes and Taylor Smith
What boat(s) you race together:
Right now we race wherever we get invited or when someone loans us their Martin. We both enjoy the Martin 242 and are planning on finding our own soon.
What do you think your partner’s greatest strength is as a sailor?
Taylor is great at staying calm and sorting through chaos to find the best solution in a situation. His ability to plan tactics two steps ahead and then carry out whatever he’s planning has always impressed me.
What is your best piece of advice for sailing or racing with your significant other?
Trust the other person. Whether it’s pulling off a brilliant but terrifying mark rounding, or stepping out on the trapeze, trust takes you further.
